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Eulogy for a Greenie


Captain Capitalism rants about Prius drivers with vanity plates:

"Skyler McFairtradecoffeedrinker was a great man. He only bought organic, fairtrade coffee from small, locally owned coffee stores that gave back to the community 30% of their pre-tax profits. He volunteered his time at the local minimalist-crapo-art museum where he lobbied the government for more taxpayer money for art nobody wanted. He wasn't a rich man, but he was rich in that his footprint was minimal on this planet. He lived in a small house with environmentally friendly insultation and spent only 79% of the US average on heating and air conditioning. He drove a moped and a Prius and emitted 56% less than the average American in carbon emissions."

You get one life on this planet and the greatest accomplishment you achieved is that you went green?

You know some people have families, some get great careers, some start businesses, some become adventurers, some go to the Sturgis rally, some start bars or restaurants, some fight in wars, some (ahem, cough cough) become economists…

But you, on your death bed will look back at the previous 80 years and your greatest accomplishment?

You didn't eat meat. Wow, way to go.

Yup. Sklyer used his life to make the smallest possible difference. No wonder he needed a vanity plate, bumper stickers, a yard sign and an ironic T-shirt. Heaven forbid nobody notice how little impact he had.